


Why Do You Have Swords In Your Office?

by orphan_account



Category: Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: a badass banker, brendon is insane, patrick is a badass, pete is too, still posting it anyways, this is crap, trapped in a bank durring a robbery au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-06
Updated: 2014-08-06
Packaged: 2018-02-11 23:47:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2087613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Pete wanted was a loan so he can buy the house of his dreams and move out of the hotel he is staying in. <br/>All Patrick wanted was to seal another loan before he moved to another bank.. <br/>All Brendon wanted was a shitton of money to take Ryan on an extended vacation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Do You Have Swords In Your Office?

Pete walked into the fancy bank. _Time to apply for a house loan. An expensive house loan._ He pulled at his too long sleeves, and sweated a little bit. He will be paying off this loan for a long time. But having a house beat living in a hotel for months. And when he found the perfect house, well. He needed a home. 

He stops at the first open counter and there is a short, bearded, tattooed man in a fancy suit looking extremely bored. “Can I help you?” He asked in a surprisingly high pitched voice. His name tag read  _Andy._

Pete smiled quickly. “Er,  _Andy_ , I am looking to apply for a loan?”

“What kind would you be interested in?”

 _Wait, what kind did he come here for? Why is he even in here? Is it just Pete or is just being in here wrong?_  Pete had a very mini freakout. “A house loan?” He asked unsurely. 

Andy didn’t seem fazed. He looks like he has worked here for too long. “Okay, that would be Mr. Stump’s area.” He pointed across the lobby and to a glass door. 

Pete nodded nervously.  _Okay, no biggie. You just have to walk over there and make a really expensive decision. That you will be dealing with for awhile. Why are my hands sweaty? Ew! God, Pete hold yourself together!_ _  
_

He shuffled over to the office, with a big **PATRICK STUMP** etched in the glass. He knocked on the door. 

“Uh, sir? Just walk in! He’ll be with you in a moment!” Andy called from across the lobby. 

Pete was so out of his element. He walked in, not turning back to face Andy. 

He sat there and looked around the room. It was small, but luxurious. He slid around on the big leather loveseat. On the wall there was a badass pair of katanas over the desk. There was a Newton’s cradle on his extremely messy desk.  _Click clack click clack click_ _cla-_ Pete’s hands closed around it. It was driving him more insane than this bank was already making him.

A small, blonde wearing a fedora walked in.  _Hahaha what a loser! Fedora? The only person that doesn_ _’t look like a douchebag in one of those is the one and only Indiana Jones._

The man sat in his chair and spun around to greet Pete. “Hello, I’m Patrick Stump and I understand that you would like a loan?”  
 

Oh good god, the guy had the face of an angel! Pete sat back and his chair and forgot all about what he was going to do in a few minutes. “Uh, yeah.” Pete said smiling just a little bit. 

“Well, that’s great news.” He said, a carefully rehearsed line of annoying politeness. Still, he was willing to forget it because of that smile.

He was struggling for something to say, when Patrick’s eyes widened and he whispered “Oh god.” 

Pete turned around to see two men with ski masks and huge guns walk into the bank. 

He saw Andy yawn at the counter. 

“What do we do?” Pete asks quietly. 

“Crack open the door.” 

“What?” 

“Crack open the door! So we can hear?!” Patrick said hushedly. 

Everybody out there fell to the ground raising their hands up. All except for, well, Andy. Pete scrambled to open to the door. 

“Okay! Everybody be quiet and don’t fucking move!” Said the shorter one in a rather extravagant voice. “ By the way! I’m Brendon, and that’s fucking Ryan!” He pointed his gun at Andy. “You’re gonna put the money in the bag, okay?”

“Jesus. Please Andy don’t get all high and mighty, please please.”  Patrick whispered quickly under his breath. 

“We’ve got to do something.” Pete said. 

“Get! Your! Fucking! Money!” Brendon yelled, laughing maniacally. 

Andy stood still, deciding on what to do. 

“You want to play it that way?” Brendon laughed. He brought up his gun and shot some patron that was crying in the head. “Want to have fun?! We can have fun!”

Andy nodded, stepping back. “I’ll go open the vault.” 

 

“Somebody just died Pete. We’ve got to do something.”  Patrick said. “We have to do something.”

“Do you have your phone with you?” 

Patrick’s face went angry. “Why didn’t we think about that sooner?!”

 

“If cops show up, my friends, I will open fire. That would be not fun. I never miss. Good thing Ry-ry cut the cords so none of the landlines would work, right Ry?” 

The taller one nodded. He was sitting, swinging his legs back and forth. 

 

Andy came back out. He mumbled something. 

 “What, I can’t hear you! Did you hear him Ryan?”

Ryan shook his head. 

“I said that I opened the vault!” 

Brendon snorted. “Fun!”

And he shot Andy. Then swaggered to the back with Ryan trailing him. 

 

Patrick started hyperventilating. “What the hell are we gonna do?” 

“Those swords.”

“What?” 

Pete pointed at the blades on the wall with out breaking eye contact.

“Oh yeah.” 

 

“We need to stop him before he kills somebody else. Patrick, we gotta do this.” 

“I just got a promotion, moved outta my parents, this loan would’ve finished of my student’s loan! I would’ve been golden! Met somebody, had kids! I don’t know!” Patrick said quickly and hushed. 

“You need to trust me. I need to trust you.” Pete said surely, climbing on Patrick’s desk to get the swords.   
“Okay, tell me about yourself.”

 _Why would he ask that? What is there to know?_ ”Uh, I thought you were an idiot when you came in with that hat? But then, whoa!” He slipped on a paper on Patrick’s desk, losing his balance for a moment. “But then, I saw your smile, and I thought, well,” 

Patrick looked up at him. “what?” He asked tiredly. This day has been a roller coaster. 

“Well, I thought it was cute, that’s all. Aha. “  Pete hopped off the desk with the blades in hand. “Where did you get these?”

 _Cute? He thinks I_ _’m cute?_ ”A friend thought it would be funny to stab my walls with it at party in college. I kept them, and I put them up as a joke, but never wanted to climb back up and get them.”

Pete smiled. Free swords. “Well, laziness comes in handy sometimes, I guess.”  _Lifesaving, even. “_ Your sword, my lord.” 

Patrick laughed. “Thanks.” 

“Plan is- go stop the fuckers?” Pete asked, rolling up his sleeves. 

“And to cover my back. I promise to cover yours.” 

Pete pulled on Patrick’s arm, to make him face Pete. “Promise?” 

“I swear on my life.”

Pete leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on Patrick’s cheek. Patrick may have blushed. “Okay. I believe you. "

 They stepped out of the office, and the patrons on the floor, sobbing looked up and gasped. 

Pete walked with Patrick towards the vault. 

Patrick buried his face in Pete’s neck while they walked past. “This is so horrible.” 

Pete rubbed his back. 

 

Brendon and Ryan were filling up bags. 

“Think of it, I’ll be able to take you somewhere very far away from here. Off the grid. You and me. Isn’t that nice?”  Brendon said, grabbing a handful of cash. 

His phone rang and he stopped and grinned ear to ear. “I wonder who that could be.” He flipped it open. “Heeellllloooo?” Brendon put his hand on the phone. “Hey, Ry! It’s the cops!” He giggled. 

Ry nodded and continued putting stuff in the bags. 

“I love love love fun and games, so if you would like to play…” 

“You don’t want to play? Well, that’s a goddamn shame. I’l just have to kill every last patron of this fine, rich bank!” Brendon said, stepping aside. “Loooook. I know exactly know what  _you_ can do, but let me show you what I can do. Right now.” 

Brendon set the phone down on the table and shot at the wall a couple times. “Oh look, a sweet couple just died!”

“No, Officer I don’t think  _you understand! This is a game, where only I and sweet Ryan win._ ” He slammed the phone down with a goofy grin on his face. 

 

Pete was at the corner with Patrick. “When?” Patrick asked. 

Pete put up his hand. “When he puts his gun down.” 

 

Brendon tossed the gun and hopped up on the table. Standing, he paced on the table where a couple hundered bills sat. He kicked them, sending the money flying. “We are gonna be so filthy rich, babe.”

“Mhmm.” Ryan said filling another bag. 

 

“Now.” Patrick said, pulling Pete by his collar. 

They held there blades high and Pete swung blindly at Ryan. Ryans scream was unearthly and bloodcurdling. Pete immediately  jumped back and saw Ryan holding his stomach, and blood was already spilling the floor. 

 

“You-“ Brendon yelled. He was holding Patrick in a chokehold. Patrick mouthed ‘Sorry’. and looked at his sword on the ground. “Why did you do that?” Brendon asked loudly. “He didn’t hurt those people!” 

Pete looked back at Ryan who was crying and pressing his hands at a bloody spot on his shirt. 

 

“Why did you hurt those people?” Pete asked, brokenly. 

“Do you not realize that I am nuts?” Brendon asked hysterically. He was crying now, and Patrick squirmed under him holding him so tight. 

Pete looked at where Brendon had thrown his gun. 

It was s slit second decision and both of them realized it, and went for it. 

Pete beat him to the gun, but Brendon was on top of him. 

“Give me it! Give! It!” Brendon yelled, wrestling Pete. Pete was on the floor and shoved the point under his jaw. One shot and this would all be over. 

Brendon’s smile didn’t give and he stopped wrestling for it, but instead rested his hands on Pete’s neck. “You won’t pull the trigger. You won’t.” He repeated it over and over. “You won’t do it.” 

Could he? Could he really pull the trigger? 

 

Patrick raised his sword above his head and stepped towards Brendon.

He has to save Pete. 

And he chopped off Brendon’s head. 

And did it. 

 

Pete woke up in an ambulance, and Patrick was staring at him from the other side. 

“Ryan will be fine.” He said quietly. “Brendon- not so much.” 

 

“Thank you.” Pete said, as one of the nurses hovered over him. 

 Patrick laughed in a sort of hopeless way. “I killed somebody, please. Don’t. Don’t ever.”

 

Pete obliged as they asked questions. Did he know Andy? Not before the thing. What was your plan? Take the swords and stop them. Why? People were dying.  What now? Probably live with his mom, like a bum. He didn’t see Patrick for awhile, but there was a note with a phone number written and an XO written at the bottom. 

When he was released later that day, he sat alone in a coffee shop with a cheap coffee and he had felt ten years older. He texted the number the coffee shop name and that he was sitting in the back. Patrick soon joined him at the table silently. 

“Who are you?” Patrick asked him quietly between sips. 

“I’m Pete Wentz. I am a Cancer and I enjoy long walks on the beach.” 

Patrick laughed. “Serious.”

“Do you really need to know? I feel like I know what kind of person Patrick Stump is based on your actions.” 

-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
